the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
