I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize