I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I think I just sharted jello shots
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
