I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
