super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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