guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize