return my video game
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize