I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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