having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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