Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You made out with two different species that night
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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