no. you can't hotbox the world.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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