I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
