JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
