wat bout pragnant strippers??
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
