I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
