Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
