Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
it's great music for shaving your balls
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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