we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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