So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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