haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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