Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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