do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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