She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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