I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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