he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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