I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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