So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
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That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
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I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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