call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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