Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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