You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
