Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
