Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm too high and old for this...
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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