Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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