hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
