Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
