i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
