No stitches, just platelets and will power
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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