why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
