hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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