I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize