he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
