I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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