so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
