i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize
