Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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