my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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