You smell like a Billy Joel song
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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