1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
