i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
