So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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