Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
