Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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