I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
