Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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