yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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