david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
