didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
