Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
